Fun Fact Friday

I have been so busy I keep forgetting to post these fun facts...which is a shame because I love deciding what to post on this occasion.

this weeks fun fact...

My lovely sister ashley who is only 7 months prego with a GYNORMOUS baby officially weighs more than me now!

BY ONE POUND!

ignore the fact that I'm fat and enjoy this moment with me!

This has never happened in our life and will probably never happen again.

She is so dang cute!

She brought me cookies on my birthday and Dave and I giggled while her belly bounced when she laughed.

I also got to feel my nephew move around like crazy for the first time.

It was a great birthday gift package.

Thanks Sis!

Blessed

This last weekend we took a road trip to Logan

to visit with our good friends the Mathews and attend their little Tucker's baby blessing.

We had our semi annual trip to Texas Road House together and

a red box movie night.

Tucker's dad gave him such a wonderful heart felt blessing Sunday.

They are such good parents.

These three will dearly be missed when we head out to the mid west.

but there are just some people in life that even if you don't see them for a few months or years....you always pick up right where you left off.

We look forward to lots of fun trips to visit each other in the future!!!

JAPAN

Our HEARTS and Prayers go out to Japan.

I can't help but cry when I think about all of these people and the fear,

devastation and loss they are dealing with

after an earthquake, a tsunami and now nuclear plant danger too.

I wish I could fly there now and help.

But We are praying numerous times a day for our brothers and sisters in Japan.

puppy search

Dave saw this poster hanging at B.Y.U. this week

and brought it home to show me.

And I knew I needed to help share as well.

If you can't read what it says on the poster I posted it below the picture...

"Name: Sir Bubbalouie. Bubba or The Bubbs to his friends

Last seen: Chilling on the couch, with nothing but love in his heart and a rumbling in his tummy, both his heart and tummy are big

Has a shiny black coat with a majestic white face and chest, big brown eyes, and a little tail that curls like a cinnamon roll.

Not ashamed of any bodily finctions, they give him a sense of accomplishment

Has two loves: Friends and Food

Not interested in mainstream things like politics, reality TV or baths

Not lost, just wanted to show you how awsome my dog is."

How funny is that!!!

NEEDLESS TO SAY...We are so excited to get a dog once we find an apartment in Illinios. We can't decide what kind, but this poster made us seriously consider this dog.

other types we have thought of

Shi-poo

Shitzu

Pomeranian

Pug

Yorky

French Bulldog

chi wawa (all Dave, I am not sure about that)

What do you guys think we should get???

Friday Fun Fact

Friday Fun Fact

We are going to live with my brother Chad in his new craftsmen style house in Lehi for the month of May.

(they haven't even started moving in yet.)

in return for their kindness we will be cooking them amazing meals here.

when I say we I really mean Dave. We all know he is the mastermind in the kitchen.

The kitchen is AWSOME!

We are going to have so much fun with them

and my little neice is the cutest thing EVER.

(The latest proof that she is adorable)

Plus we get to save on rent for a month also

which is great because moving is expensive.

WOO HOO

Chad you are awsome!!!

Time to Party Again

After throwing a space mission birthday for the boy I nanny in January I didn't know how we were ever going to top it.

The boys and girl has so much stinking fun at the Space Center in PG on their simulated space mission and talked about it for weeks after.

But now it's time for his sisters birthday!

She loves Fashion and make-up and all things girlie

She actually is sketching pictures of designs all the time and we make clothes for her american girl dolls sometimes. She is a STAR and always wants to be the center of attention.

I am using all my free time from mid terms and research papers to prepare

for her birthday party this weekend.

We are doing a movie and makeover party.

perfect theme for her right???

Each girl gets her hair and make-up done.

jewelry

a feather boa

wears their best red carpet dress

and then gets to walk the red carpet down the stairs

while getting her photo taken

and they will all end up downstairs in the newly finished movie theatre

where they will watch Mega Mind in 3-D

Lots of planning for me

but I am looking forward to the end results this weekend

Should be lots of fun.

Did I mention I love my Job!!!!!!

I can't believe this is the third round of birthdays I will be celebrating with the

little munchkins.

FEVER SCARE

This morning when I woke up the girls for school they were burning up.

They were tossing and turning in their beds.

Had a case of the sweats.

I ran down stairs to get the thermometer.

and ran back up as fast as I could

I sat them up to take their tempature.

they could barely hold still.

after seeing the results I was relieved to realize they just had

Bieber Fever

They are going to be just fine it turn out

The Dr can't tell me how long this is sappose to last though

we saw "Never Say Never" last night, the Justin Bierber concert movie

needless to say they LOVED it and are having a few side effects

haha

On the Brain

Day 27

People keep telling me that it is common to not get a positive until you actually go into the doctor and get tested.

A friend at church today told me her sister in law went in being 2 months late like me and bingo, she was totally prego!

I haven't heard back form Dr. Grover, but I am making an appointment first thing tomorrow after noon.

If it's a negative still...

Dave and I plan to go to Sushi in SLC this weekend and try harder lol

If it's a positive....I'll let cha know.

Either way...

I know Heavenly Father knows what's up

I am "practicing my patience"

just like I always tell the kids I nanny to do.

Dave and I have talked multiple times about if we should wait to tell people when I get pregnant again until we are in the safe zone...

but technically I was in the "safe" zone last time

So we have both decided that there is no point in waiting next time.

(I am also horrible at keeping secrets of my own)

So we plan to share the news in a timely manner

and if I do end up miscarrying again, at least I will have friends and family to help comfort me again.

It's a scary thought that I might have to go through all of the emotions all over again.

But I would do it a hundred times if I got a beautiful baby in the end.

And it is comforting to know that about myself.

My due date was March 12th. So Dave and I have signed up to run in the Rex Lee Run that day.

Which is something to celebrate, because Dave purposed to me the same day I ran the Rex Lee Run in 2008. I am looking forward to having a day full of wonderful memories and recognizing how blessed I am to be healthy and strong with a husband I adore.

YOU should come join us!

Friday Fun Fact

Do you see a resemblance?

It's pretty silly...

but when Dave was on his mission I developed a huge crush on

Jerry O'Connell

because he reminded me of Dave

lol

I used to watch his show all the time.

But now that I have my Dave back I could care less.

whenever I see Mr. O'Connell now I just laugh to myself

T.M.I.

Day 23

and still no visit from aunt flow

but no positive yet either

hm....

Life is a mystery isn't it!

I am debating if I should call Dr. Grover or wait a couple weeks longer?!?

but for now I'm going to relax from a long morning at school before I have a long night at work.

Dream Bedroom

Dave and I both agree. We are in love with this room.

One day, far far from now, when we build our house this will be the inspiration for the

master bedroom.

Fun Fact Friday

Okay--Here is our Fun Fact of the Day!

( I will list two because I missed last week)

#1. Dave and I have decided when we have a baby girl her middle name will be Lynn

after our mother's names Lynda and Jolynn. (They ROCK)

Isn't that precious lol

I am pattening the name Emma Lynn Holt right now.

I LOVE IT.

It's ours. Use it and you will feel the wrath of the Holt House.

I'm serious.

lol

seriouslythough.

lol

#2. Dave and I eat a bowl of ice cream in bed almost every night.

Yes, this is why we are fat!

But we just love ice cream.

( I am giving this habbit up though to become skinny with my bestie Jaimee)

Dear Jaimee- please call me and remind me not to have ice cream in bed tonight!!!!!

-Loves ya, Megan

Be My Valentine

Dave and I both had a busy Monday planned with school and work and we agreed to both get all of our stuff done and come home at 7pm from work and school and then we would just have a relaxing night and celebrate our Valentines on Tuesday night by having dinner at Carabba's when we would both have more energy and time. Only when I snuck home early (5pm) to try and be sneaky and surprise Dave with a home made candle lit dinner and more.....as soon as I walked into the door I realized he had beat me to the punch lol. He popped out from behind the door and covered my eyes and rushed me to the bedroom where I was locked while Dave snuck around the apartment for 2 hours preparing something....

7pm rolls around and Mr. Handsome came knocking on the door. Blindfolded and being led to the kitchen My wonderful husband revealed a GORGEOUS dinner for two arranged just like the dinner we had on the Eiffel Tower on our last trip to Paris. He had the same food, the same music, flowers, candle light, a card that was so sweet it made me cry (like always). He poored the maritinelli's in our fancy glasses just like our waiter did lol. Topped with dessert, X's and O's, it was confirmed again....My husband is awsome. I love him with all my heart!

He is smart, hardworking, cute, faithful, sweet, thoughtful, genuine, playful, manly, protective, honest, confident and so so much more.

Turns out he only got home 5 minutes before me....but I'm glad he did. I wouldn't have wanted our valentine's day any other way.

Another 2011 Valentine's suprise...being handed a lovely rose from a stranger at school with a note saying "Remember you are loved".

Day 13

Day 13!

Dave and I have had such a fun weekend.

We went to the Utah Vs. BYU basketball game.

only to get a seat in the all sports pass section we had to get there extremely early, and spent an hour or two studying for tests together and trying not to have ADD with everything going on around us.

Attended our Stake Valentine's Dance.

Caught up on our shows

(Glee, Community, Office, Outsourced, Bachelor)

We just spent a lovely Sunday morning preparing my lesson for Relief Society.

Dave is such a sport and will pretend like my R.S. and I will give him the lesson and he will periodically shoot his hand up and, in a women's voice, ask questions that he thinks will be asked.

It is so funny yet extremely helpful, and helps me be less nervous.

(which I always am and don't know why)

Tonight we are off to Aunt Jeralee's for a cousin's Valentine dinner.

One of my favorite Sunday activities is going there to hang out with the family gang.

and to top it all off....the family I nanny is on a Disney cruise for one whole week.

so I get to plan a nice Valentines Day with my hubby and have....

FREEDOM!!!! / but the little munchkins will be missed

lots of sewing and baking is about to go down!

THe WAIT

The hardest thing about my life these days I would say is the unknown. I find myself counting the days until I am suppose to start my period and then counting the days I am late, getting my hopes up that I am pregnant and then starting. It's a vicious cycle. Right now I am in the "getting my hopes up day 10" stage. Dave has really helped me stay positive and patient over the months. We have decided that I am not allowed to buy a pregnancy test until he gives the go ahead. This saves me from taking them too early or too often and being heartbroken its negative again. Its the perfect plan for us! If I didn't have school this semester to keep my mind so busy I think I would be going crazy! But this morning I had a great reminder. Whether I am pregnant or not, God has blessed our lives in so many ways and for those reasons alone I can go through out each day with joy and gratitude. It's hard to believe that our little one would have came just a few short weeks from now if it had been Heavenly Father's will. I trust my Heavenly Father and love him for all of the blessings he gives Dave and I each day. I love my husband soooooo much.

Now we're off to be studious!!!!

Monday Muse

My Inspiration for this weekends sewing project.....ambitious...being as how I still stink at sewing....but bought my material yestarday.

I will post a picture when I am done.

Friday Fun Fact

This weeks Friday Fun Fact...

We love to frolic in fields of grass

and we don't care who knows it.

FACT: you can't do it without laughing and smiling.

You should try it sometime!

Oh no no no no no

Are we really moving here????

Here is a picture of roads in illinois today...02.02.11

People just abandon there cars there the storm was so bad.

I've decided I will just have to be a hermit in the winters there..

and I am ok with that.

Monday Muse

Monday Muse

(also late but just as good)

‎"I believe in pink.

I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner.

I believe in kissing, kissing a lot.

I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.

I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.

I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."

♥ ♥ Audrey Hepburn

Fun Fact Friday

Friday Fun Fact

A late but still just as fun....

Dave and I love goats.

We think they are just hilarious.

One day when we have our own house and some land we want some baby goat friends.

Desktop

The current picture on our computer's desktop is so wonderful I had to share it.

Paris in Winter

Monday Muse

I have been bitten by the Paris bug!

Some days I sit and wonder.....did we really go to Paris in September? I all ready want to go back. I have to keep reminding myself that medical school and children are first....then it's back to "Pareeee" for me. I recently fell in love with this photo on etsy.com. I have looked at it multiple times in the past 3 weeks and plan to have my husband surprise me with it for my birthday (hehe) and hang it in our room(he's seen it and thinks it's silly because we have hundreds of pictures all ready that we took, so feel free to surprise me instead). It would be the perfect thing to look at while I day dream of all the wonderful memories we made in Europe and matches our duvet perfectly... how convenient.

Fun Fact Friday

K I have decided that every friday I will post a fun fact about Dave or Myself or both of us...

So what is the fun fact of today you might ask?

Dave was voted "best butt" in high school!

...and I would have to agree! ;)

(FYI he is shooting a rifle in this picture if you are wondering, and I was standing where I knew I would have the best view lol)

I can hear the illiNOISE

It's Decided.

In June 2011 Dave and I will be moving to Illinois to attend University of Illinois.

We will live in St.Louis for June and July with Dave's parents while we find a place to live, sleep in, act like bums, work on making babies very discretely, read all of the books we have on our list of "books we want to read" and anything we can think of that we can do together or with family as much as possible before Dave devotes his life to becoming a doctor again.

School starts on August 16th....our 3 year anniversary.

We will attend our first year at UOI's campus in Champagne IL and our last three in Peoria IL.

Then we will make the other big decision of where to do his residency

We're thinking St.Luois, but who knows.

We are getting really "trunkee", Dave has a huge case of senioritis, he day dreams in class all day and forgets to do homework all the time.....and will still get all A's like always, and I have a huge case of the "IloveschoolbutIhopeitgoesquickthissemestercauseIcan'twaitforanewadventureITIS."

BYU has been good to us and will be missed....but it will be great one day to bring our kids back and check them into the dorms, show them where dad and I met, where we lived, where we would go to feed the duckies almost every sunday afternoon, where our favorite hole in the wall burger joint was, where we had our first kiss, where we used to sit and talk for hours, where we went to church, where we studied together in the library and then deck ourselves out for a BYU football game together.

I'm so proud of my husband and all of his hard work...he makes all our dreams come true.

I love you Dr.Dave

I am amazed at the amount of JOY we have in our lives after this experience and am thankful for all of your prayers and hugs and smiles. It's only been 4 moths now.

9:34pm

It's 9:34p.m. on Sunday January 9, 2011...and I am exhausted! I just finished my first week of being back in school. I'm taking 17 credits in hopes to finish up my schooling before Dave and I are headed out. I have English, Philosophy, Health, Geology, and Student Success. I love school so much. I love that I am constantly being forced to challenge myself on a daily basis. I am definitely out of my comfort zone, but I am loving every minute of it. As a reward to myself I made sure to sign up for an advanced volleyball class, where I basically get to just have open gym 3 days a week. I am enjoying getting to know my professors and the people in my classes. I didn't know how I would be with my time management when it came to 17 credits and working still and then being in charge of preparing the R.S. lesson today. I don't have much free time anymore but interestingly enough I had just enough energy to finish all of the tasks required of me this week and as soon as I finished my very last task of making Dave his batch of Sunday cookies....every ounce of energy left my body....I know that Heavenly Father is watching over me and routing me on. I could not be more grateful for Him, along with a husband who does the dishes and lets me go to sleep at 9pm on school nights (yes I should be in bed now, I have class at 7am) even though he wants to stay up and play and makes me cups of hot coa coa while I'm typing away at my first research paper because he knew it would make me remember to smile and stop worrying that I am not a genius!

It's 9:44pm Sunday January 9, 2011 and I am exhausted, but I wouldn't want it any other way!

Chicago

We found out end of December that Dave also got accepted to University of Illinois, Chicago. HOORAH! However this only makes choosing a place to go even harder. We we set on Kansas City but are now seriously considering UIC. The great thing about Illinois is that it is cheaper because Dave is a resident and he can also apply for multiple scholarships there. So as of today it seems as though we are going to be in Illinois for med school at 1 of their 4 campuses.

To say the least, there is lots of praying going on at the Holt House these days.

sew happy

I am SEW HAPPY!

My sister and I got matching sewing machines and are having SEW much fun. We spent all day Wednesday learning how to sew a straight line, make a bobbin, thread the machine and then I taylored one of Dave's old collared shirts to fit me. I'm in love with my new sewing machine and think we have a long amazing future together!

If anyone has any awsome websites with sewing ideas send em on over!

what's next

Dave got accepted to all of four the medical schools he interviewed at and we will hear back from the fifth at the end of this month. We couldn't be more excited that we have options on where to live for the next few years of our life. We love De Moines, Iowa and we LOVE Kansas City, MO....so as of right now we are deciding between those two. And then if we get into UIC in Chicago we will definately be considering that school too. So what I'm really wondering.....is where would you all come to visit us??? Chicago, De Moines or Kansas City?

Dave finished classes for the semester officially and is just relaxing and studying for his exams.

CAN YOU BELIEVE HE ONLY HAS UNTIL APRIL. Then we move.

I secretly wish we had longer....We just love BYU so much!!!!

I am doing better these days...I have enrolled in my last semester at UVU, training for my half marathon again, having the time of my life being Santa for my husband this year, Learning how to sew with my sister.....I still feel like I'm climbing back up to where I need to be emotionally, mentally and physically but one step at a time....I'm getting closer. Luckily I have Dave's big shoulder to lean on when I fall back a few steps.

THIA Yumm!

Dave and I have decided this is our favorite home made meal......

Thai Curry

My AMAZING mother in law taught me to make this last Christmas. We have been making it at least every month and make enough of it for quite a few left over meals.

When I was cooking this on Sunday Dave kept calling me a 4 burner wife

like johnny lingo's "8 cow wife"hehe

Yuuuummmmmmmmmm!!!

facing my emotions

I'm making this post today for those of you who have gone through a loss like this.

I hope it can help in some way.

Yesterday I had a doctors appointment to get my hormone levels checked and set up another ultrasound to make sure that nothing is still in there that shouldn't be. Before I was about to get up and leave my doctor asked me how I was doing emotionally and I suprised myself and began balling before I could even answer him....

and after a long talk we agreed I should see a pshycologist.

I think I am a happy person and have so much to be happy for and want to be happy all of the time and because of that

I don't think I have let myself go through the grieving process fully of having a miscarriage in my second trimester. I have only let out my emotions a little bit at a time then put them away and put on a happy face for the rest of my days.

Its been a month now, which seems like forever but then somedays like no time at all.

So today I faced my emotions head on.

I had my meeting with the phsycologist and I'm glad to say it helped so much.

It was relieving to have someone to lay it all out on the table with and help me sort through what I'm feeling.

someone who had a fresh look at the situation and wasn't wrapped up emotionally like family and friends are.

and yes I went through a whole box of kleenex in 1 hour.

I learned that I hate to "rain on peoples parades", and because there are so many wonderful things going on in my life to people whom I love so much I have pushed my feelings aside so that I could enjoy those happy moments with them.

....I can be happy and excited for others but still need to deal with what I'm going through.

We talked a lot about....

you can be sad and greatful at the same time

it's okay to be sad

It's healthy to grieve

what to do when I feel sad

***give it time***

and numerous other things that are personal to what I went through.

So yes I am heartbroken still and am learning how to deal with it still....but I am greatful for my testimony always and today for this.....

Yesterday DAVE opened his second med school acceptance letter to Kanas City.

That makes 2 schools now we can go to and there are even more interviews and acceptances to come I'm sure.

My husband makes me happy/proud always....no matter the circumstances.

And one day he will be the bestest dad ever!

Mindy Gledhill, I feel like I'm in a happy dream when I listen to her music

SUPER SEASON

byu vs. unlv

Dear Megan,

Welcome to a little thing we like to call SUPER SEASON....When Football season and Basketball season at BYU overlap and your adorable husband asks you to go to all of the home games with him, and you can't say no. Yes, it just so happens that this week that means...BYU Basketball game friday night, a ward football scrimmage in the morning and a BYU football game saturday afternoon. It's a good thing your husband is such a stud and you have so much fun cheering at the top of your lungs with him and dancing to the blaring music. SUPER SEASON....we love you, but don't make me loose my voice please.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GO COUGARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sincerely,

the wife of a very happy sports fan named Dave

we are cherishing our last season with our all sports passes before we leave to med school...

to say the least!

not a bitter betty

I threw a joint baby shower for my two wonderfully prego girlfriends this saturday! I am so excited for them to be mothers and raise little BYU football players. During Sunday's church meeting Dave and I played with with our little friend abby....she's the one in the black jump suite in the front row. And as she slept in Dave's arms the second half (after her parents helped her fall asleep)I thought to myself....I'm so greatful I am not bitter towards those who get to be mothers sooner than me. ( I see that happen too often ) If anything this expirience has made me more happy for those who have success with their pregnancies and get to bring cute little chubby playmates for Dave and I.

Patience

Last night as Dave and I were praying before bed I started to cry!

I just miss being pregnant. I miss holding my little belly. I miss daydreaming about what it was going to be, boy or girl. I miss talking with Dave about all of the silly fun things we were going to do with our little one and all of the silly things babies do that we would just sit and giggle at. I miss the little kids I nanny asking me questions non stop about what the baby was growing that day. I miss knowing that I was going to have a baby in March in Utah with all of my family and friends close by. I miss reading all of my books on the babies developement and how to be a good mom. I miss wearing elastic pants. I miss thinking of baby names. I miss the excitment the filled me every time I saw mother and her little one in church. It's only been 23 days today since we lost our little one. 23 days of coping. 23 days less I have to wait to start trying again. My life seems to have the theme of patience these days, and some days I am better than others.

But each day I count my blessings because I know Dave and I have been blessed in so many ways!

Halloween Time

Our little apartment is starting to look a little like Halloween.

Stay tuned for our awsome Halloween costumes this year!

Dave Leaves tomorrow for his third med school interview and comes back Saturday! He will be in Chicago this time around and will stay with his brother Danny and family....Chicago=cold! But hey if the school fits...I am willing to stick it out for a few years. Dave got accepted by one school all ready but wants to check out all of his options first. I will be keeping myself busy while he is gone organizing the apartment, taking the kids I nanny to their dad's sweet company Halloween party on Friday (Omniture flies in mijits from vegas to dress up every year and decorates every wing in the building for kids and grown ups to trick or treat through...it's huge) and throwing a joint baby shower for two wonderful friends saturday.

sweet somethings

Here is the first thing that little Mary (age 6) said to me when I picked her up from school Monday....

"Megan, I'm sorry about your baby. but I'm happy you get to be my nanny longer."

Followed by a big hug from that little sweetheart!

I love her!!!

Friends

Most people think they have good friends but I just had to take a moment to brag about some of ours... Not only are they fun, hilarious, we could talk forever with them, we never get sick of them, can't get enough of them....but they are soooo thoughtful and caring too.

Dave and I have been pretty recluse since we moved into our new apartment....be it school, loosing our little one and work...it seems like every free moment we have had, we have kept to ourselves!

So this weekend we decided we were going to hang out with some of our favorite friends.

aka...the besties lol

Out of the 8 of these friends 5 of them have October birthdays so we went to Tucanos SLC for their free birthday lunches.

We laughed a lot and ate enough food to feed a small country.

Then we watched the BYU football game. (horrible)

Then we went to Sammy's....our favorite, hole in the wall, burger joint, and got pie shakes.

Then had a great game night.

At the end of the night they suprised Dave and I with a gift.

It was a WAY too expensive gift card to only be used for a weekend getaway for 2, with an explanation saying they loved us and knew we needed it after what we just went through and Dave leaving so much for med school interviews soon. and that we had to take photos, when appropriate, to prove we used it for a getaway.

I couldn't help but cry. Spending the day out with them was enough for me, but how amazingly thoughtful!

Especially because we are all poor college students and they are all about to have babies!!

If they are half as good at being parents as they are at being good friends to Dave and I....they will still be amazing parents!!!! I mean it!

So......yes....our friends are awsome in every way!

Dave and I plan to use our gift when we are ready to try for little one #2. hehe

we feel so blessed because we know these aren't our only awsome friends!

Thank You

Thank you everyone for your comments and prayers. We are keeping strong and carrying on and smiling while we count our blessings.

I had no idea so many people read my blog. I have had so many calls, messages and emails in response to posting. I was really hesitant to post about this expirience but I know it is much easier to have someone know than to come up to me and ask me how our baby is and what not.

We feel so blessed to have such comforting friends and family and a firm knowledge of the Gospel Thank you again!

Hugs, The Holts

Mom got Hitched

Meet the new Mr & Mrs Nelson.

(aka my adorable mother and sweet new step father dancing down the isle)

Yep! They are pretty much made for eachother!

Lately I have been counting my blessings and here is one that is pretty recent.

I haven't seen or heard my mother be so happy in 13 years!

She is radiating Joy and Happiness.

I feel lucky to have been married to Dave for almost 2.5 years and still feel the same way.

But there is no woman more deserving of such a great guy, than my mom!

We are so happy for you little Mrs.

Gaurdian Angels

Well here it goes.....recently Dave and I have gone through something pretty heartbreaking and I have had a few days now to try and learn how to cope with it and I think it helps to just talk about it....rather than ignore the world and pretend like nothing happened.

Dave and I got back from Paris on cloud nine and I thought life couldn't get any better. We had just had the time of our lives, our little one was growing, Dave had received interview offers from 7 med schools and we were head over heals in love with each other. A few days later we went in for my 18 week checkup at the clinic. Our Dr. took my vitals and samples and said everything looked great and that we should schedule an ultrasound to see what our little one was...a boy or a girl. Then it was time to use the doppler and hear that precious little heartbeat we had hear just a few weeks previous. She kept moving the doppler around on my stomach and telling me to relax so it would work...1 minute turned into two....two minutes turned into four and still we couldn't find a heart beat. I was scared but kept telling myself the doppler is just stupid machine. So my Dr. went right over to her computer and asked if I would have time today to go straight to the hospital to get an ultrasound....I said yes and started to ball but was still hoping for the best. As we got to the hospital I was trying really hard not to cry....I was so worried. We went into the first room which had multiple beds and machines seperated by curtains....I kept looking at the T.V. at our little baby while the first nurse took an ultrasound and felt so much love for it. I was amazed at how big it was all ready and relieved to just be able to see our little one finally, even if there was no heartbeat. I wasn't oblivious that our nurse was silent until she asked us to move into a seperate room......it was just us sitting there in a dark room now in solitude. Another nurse came in and took a look at the baby again. She measured it and explained to us that the baby had swelling around it's head and had passed away a few weeks earlier (shortly after our last appointment where we heard the heart beat). I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. Sweet dave held me as I tearfully asked the nurse for a picture to keep. Then the Doctor came in to confirm that our little one had gone to heaven sooner than we had hoped and what would happen next. We have never been so heartbroken in our life. I know miscarriages are common....but I thought being 18 weeks along I was in the clear and was oh so excited to be a mother and for Dave to be a Father. There was nothing left to do after the doctors but to cry. Dave and I held each other and we cried for the next 24 hours. Then came the hardest part....That next afternoon Dave had to catch a flight out to St. Louis for his first med school interview....I was so excited for him and greatful that we had something to look forward to and talk about after such bad news...but now I was left alone to deal with this for the next 4 days.

I am so greatful for Dave because I know I could not have made it through those 4 days if he hadn't made me the strong woman I am today. I turned to the Lord and counted my blessings. My family were angels and brought me food and hugs. My ward was great and brought me food and hugs. I was at the point where I knew I was going to be ok and felt ready to talk about it...and then Friday came. Still no word from the Dr. as to when I could go in and get a DNC...my house was spotless, and I didn't know what to do with myself....so I went to the gym. after being on the eliptical for about 2 minutes....my water broke. I ran to the bathroom and called my sister and asked her to bring me some clothes. I talked with the Dr. and then went home. I ended up passing the fetus in my own apartment, by myself, with Dave on the phone. I was in shock and shaking and greatful Dave had some Lortab to help with the contractions in the pantry. When I saw the fetus I couldn't hold back the tears. It was so developed....little fingures, a little nose.

I just want to bare my testimony that I know Heavenly Father knows each and everyone of us individually and loves us. Maybe our little one was just a faithful spirit that just needed a little body...but now they are in a happier and holy place and that brings me happiness. I cry not because I am bitter but because I was just so excited to be a mother and a family with my wonderful husband. But I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us. That we will have children here on earth one day and that now we have a little gaurdian angel to look over us now.

Thank you to a friend who left this on my doorstep!

It's just what I needed to hear.

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

-Joseph B. Wirthlin.

Happy Birthday

My Birthday Boy!

Today my wonderful husband turns 25.

Happy Birthday Mr. Holt.

Your birth is definitely something to celebrate and it is amazing

all of the things you have accomplished this year!

XoXoXo

it's like Christmas!!!!!!

The odds that we are going to make it to med school are good these days.

Dave has interviews at the following places in the next 3 months.

Lake Erie Penn

Kansas City Missouri

Chicago, Illinois

University of Southern Illinois, also near Chicago

Kirksville, Missouri

Finding out Dave has an interview is like Christmas everytime. It never gets old. And we are having so much fun celebrating each time.

I am so excited because 4 of these schools are near family.....and that's all I really care about.

It is a little scary to think that We will be leaving Utah, with all of our family and friends here with a 3 month old baby and will have to make it work wherever we are, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Dave is AWSOME and it is so nice to be over the stressful hump of applying for med schools.....just one last step of interviewing and summer dave will be back in business!!! (yes he sometimes continues into fall.....mainly because of football season)

As if this news isn't enough to keep a smile on my face.....We leave for Europe in less than 2 days. We found out our hotel reservation didn't go through which was kind of scary, but the people in Paris were wonderful and helped us fix that quickly. So now everything is set.

Yes I am so scared of flying but it will be worth it....and I have Unisom to help me sleep. I took half a pill last night and literally did not move for 12 hours. It was glorious!!!! The baby and I are finally sleeping well.

I'm happy to report that our little one is the size of a softball now....I have gained a pound (it's harder work than I thought) and I am predicting it is a girl because the heart rate was 160 beats/minute.......but I could be wrong....but I would be so excited if I wasn't!!!!

It's the little things in life....

This morning I woke up smiling and can't stop.

Maybe this is why......

1. Having Dave come home from the gym this morning and flexing for me and making me giggle while I wake up. He is such a stud.

2. Watching the Price is Right while eating a bowl of delicious Cheerios with strawberries. I love that show!!!!

3. Knowing I have to go to work at 2:30 and that it will consist of taking the girls to gymnastics in their adorable leotards and then taking all three kids to their annual school carnival....which they are so excited for!!!!! ( I can't believe this will be my third carnival with them) I love my job.

4. Remembering the fact that in 9 days I will be in EUROPE and am going to eat pastries and waffles for every meal....well for the baby's sake I will throw a few fruits and veggies in there too ;)

5. Feeling like the luckiest woman alive each and every day because I have a husband who works so hard for us and the future of our family....and counting down the days til he has his med school interviews.

6. PLanning to have a fun Family Home Evening of cutting my husbands hair and making Strawberry/Rasberry freezer Jam together for the first time.

7. Planning 2 baby showers for my 2 prego girlfriends in the same weekend....and loving every minute of it.

8. Having awsome regional stake confrences with apostle that make me giggle because of their cuteness.....and hearing EXACTLY what I need to hear from them to help me be inspired to grow a little more and become a better person. wife and mother.

Yep!!!! Life is good. and I am loving the fact that my tear filled 1st trimester is over and that I can smile away now!!!!

thump thump

Today really is an amazing day!!! Yes, it's true I'm home sick in bed. Sneezing and coughing and sleep deprived, but I feel like I'm on cloud nine. You see....this morning Dave and I went to the doctor's office for attempt #2 to hear the baby's heartbeat and to make sure I wasn't dying. ( I'm not FYI ) Attempt #1 we heard nothing and I left bawling because I was fearing the worst. (which isn't saying much because I pretty much bawled through the whole first trimester) But today we heard it loud and clear. Like a little drummer. The little one is apparently growing away in my baby cooker....and even though we haven't seen it yet, hearing it made it so much more real. The shocking news....I have lost weight in my first trimester, even though I feel large and in charge and my doctor says I need to fatten up more now. So if anyone has any tips or any good recipes....let me know. I did get some unisom, which will hopefully help me eat and sleep better. Being pregnant is the BEST though! We will get back from Europe just in time to make it to our first ultrasound appointment on October 5th. So we'll be seeing you then little one! Can't wait!

My first French phrase I learned "Ju seis enciente" which means "I'm pregnant" ;)

I'm a proud momma today and I all ready love my little one soooooooooooooo much!

Oh no....here come the tears again!!!! Bring 'em on.

Moving on up

This month is going to be so exciting and so scary at the same time.

Dave and I have decided to finally move to a larger place that is cheaper and has brand new carpet and brand new paint. I'm convinced it is going to feel like a little peice of Heaven after where we have lived the past 2 years. Not only will we be saving a few pennies but we have been having mold and mngmt problems where we are at now are are excited to be free of that. Dave says the mold is making us stupid....lol

The kids I nanny are off to Arizona with their mom for ten days so it's up to me to pack up our things while Dave studies for his MCAT some more. We then leave for Spokane on July 14th, for Dave to take his MCAT again and for our family reunion. We come back the 25th. We move out the 26th.....Like I said, I'm excited and scared. I'm sad to be away from all of my friends, it's been so nice to walk out your door and see everyone else coming and going and saying hello and goodbye. I am confident we will all still be just as great of friends. We have loved our ward, our apartment (for the most part), our friends, our location, and the growth and love we have felt here.

So here is to moving forward and becoming a stronger and happier Mr. And Mrs. Holt.

Summer Dave

Dear Summer Dave,

I love you and your cute bummy wummy!

XoxO

your loving, adoring and lucky to have you wife

Good things are worth waiting for.

Recently I have come to realize just how important patience is. I'm realizing how good things are worth waiting for. Dave and I waited 4 years before getting married. now we are waiting to start a family and to see what med school we get into. We wait for these grand things but we don't let a moment pass without realizing how lucky we are. We have had so much fun together and are so lucky to be so blessed.

The sweetheart Dance 2004, our first kiss.....3 month after hanging out every day. Don't know how we made it that long.

Driving Dave to the airport 2004

I have been feeling really nostalgic lately... being at BYU in the summer, I can't help but remember the first summer Dave and I met. It was June 2004. We met at the freshman orientation dance. Yes we used to dance. From that night on we spent EVERY day together and almost every hour we could spare... until Dave's mission. I have so many fond memories of laying under the stars just talking for hours on campus, or going on adventurous dates. Six years have past and a lot has changed, But I can honestly say I have loved him since that June night in 2004. Dave never gave up on my fickleness, but I couldn't have been more stupid to not act a few years earlier to snatch up good things like Dave and never let them go. I feel so grateful to have such a wonderful man by my side through thick and thin. My love for him is stronger than it has ever been. I feel blessed to be able to share his struggles and honored to help lift him when he's down. He has helped me become who I am today and has helped me have so much joy that I never even imagined having in life.

They never said life would be easy but man is it worth it when you have such a wonderful man.

Park City

Our friends the Mathews recently graduated and moved away for further schooling so we planned a a reunion to get together and have some fun.

We lucked out to be able to stay in a cabin in Park City Utah for FREE. It was the perfect kick off to summer. We enjoyed staying up until 3am giggling and watching movies...

Having Campfires and looking at this awsome few from the deck...Dave and I woke up every morning and sat on the porch and read side by side, while we listened to the birds.

Hanging out with these lovely ladies...

Yelling "SUMMEr DAVE" and cheering as a group whenever Dave stayed up passed midnight or did something fun hehe

Shopping on Main Street and finding these free hats to keep our hair dry in the pooring rain.

Finding cute $3.00 shirts that we loaded up on.

Riding the trolly.

Driving around the mountains and looking at some of the amazing houses up there.

Eating out at the best burger joint in Summit County.

Seeing Robin Hood opening night.

Watching Dave act in Gestures and trying not to pee my pants.

Getting heated in a game of memory....yes memory.

Watching the deer run around our cabin windows.

Cooking meals for eachother.

We had such a great time and are thankful for such wonderful friends to spend our time their with. Great friends can be rare and we hope to be life long friends with these 4. Can't wait for our next adventure.